Thursday, January 15, 2009

Disclaimer

Talking with friends today put something heavy on my heart and mind. We were discussing some of the frustrations most home school moms experience (can't get it all done, am I doing enough? etc). I think we all think we are the only one thinking those things, we are the only one who feels on the brink of watching our house of cards collapse and it often comes as a surprise to hear others voice the very same fears hanging over us. One of these friends has always told me she made a firm commitment to herself a while back to never read blogs. Her reason - people only blog about the best of themselves, the successes. It creates a false impression of all these amazing people who have it all together - and can only lead others to wonder "where did I go wrong?" or "why can't I accomplish all that?" She is right, you can make yourself into anyone you want online - with little accountability to the accuracy of your statements (unless your good friends who see you every week follow your blog - then it is a bit harder to get away with :). So, with that in mind, I want to say - while I usually do blog about the great things in my life, and share the successes I have had, and the things that have worked for me - in no way do I intend to give the impression that I have it all together. I most certainly do not. My house is usually a mess, there are days when nothing gets accomplished, there are disasters, problems, illnesses and constant failures in my life. I guess I choose to not share many of the negatives because I do not want this blog to become a pity party for myself. When a child is sick, or the downstairs floods (week before Christmas) I don't go into it because I don't want others to read this and get the impression that I think my troubles are worse than what they are going through on that particular day. So, what I want to say here is, I encourage all of you. When you read about someone else's life, don't compare it to your own. Take what you can that is helpful, ignore what is not. If anyone sounds too perfect, remember you are only seeing a small portion of that person. And forgive me if I ever in this blog make someone feel as if they are not living up to some impossible standard. I struggle everyday with the feeling that I am just a child who is somehow playing dress up - pretending to be a grown up and wondering when I am going to get caught. That is why I so highly recommend The Quotidian Mysteries. When acedia overtakes me, and I feel as if what I am doing is not good enough, or that I will go crazy if I have to fold another load of laundry - I pick it up, and remind myself that life is all about the everyday, the mundane, the menial. That is where God is, that is where our salvation is often found, that is part of the rhythm God created to allow us to draw near to Him.

8 comments:

Susan Sophia said...

Thank you for sharing this!

It's so true.

Pres. Kathy said...

Thank you so much for your post. I always am thinking the same thing - you put it in such a perfect way! It is true that in the blog world everyone's life is "perfect." I know for sure mine is not. I usually hesitate to write all the troubles in life because being a priest's wife I am not sure who is reading my blog and how people will react to it. To me, I try everyday to look at everything new and pray to God for help and guidance because I don't know what I am doing!!

emily said...

great blog amb! love your honesty and i think this is such an important thing to be-transparent. we all need to see that we are not alone in our struggles and although i've never felt "superiority" coming from you, it's encouraging to hear you being above reproach in this area!

Rachael said...

I have to say, that I am constantly amazed by your humility and your wisdom. Thank you for encouraging me to strive to try things I have always thought were beyond my capability.

Jennifer@DoingTheNextThing said...

I agree - I feel the same tension in my own blog. I hope I never make anyone feel like I think I've got it all together. Yet, as you say, you don't want to be too negative for fear of whining. I think we're all trying to find the balance somewhere in the middle.
I, for one, always find YOU an encouragement, so I hope you keep it up! :)

Monica said...

Just as I was thinking... "this reminds me of Anne at Holy Experience" I noticed your "favorite blogs" list and saw that very site!

liturgy, laundry, love, life...

she who must be obeyed said...

Monica - yes, I found Holy Experience a year or so ago and it is a favorite spot of mine to go rest my soul on beauty! She articulates the laundry and liturgy concept so well, and reminds me of Kathleen Norris' writings often.

Cassie said...

So I've read this a time or two since following your blog and just did a post on how I view myself on my own (hallowedbethishouse.wordpress.com) and it had me thinking. I am THANKFUL for the good light shined on you through your work, pictures, and struggles. It gives me a baseline on who you are, so when the day comes (because it probably will!) that we disagree, I have this wonderful view of you as a foundation. I believe blogs can give us a better idea of the whole person, much better than the snippets I get after church. Anyway, just my two cents. ;-)